Post by Angie James on Apr 6, 2011 22:50:00 GMT -5
"I'm sorry I didn't go through some retarded crapfest in the middle of Satan's bunghole in order to win the ability to grace you with my presence, Ric."
Fade-in: Angelica James, arms folded in front of her, in front of a blue-painted wall. She lifts her right hand, taps her temple twice, then extends her index finger toward the camera.
"But you are a clever boy."
"A clever boy indeed. You say you know of me, then forget who I am."
She shakes her head.
"Shameful."
"Some people, while intelligent, lack simple common sense and can't put two and two together. Others are just naturally stupid. You let me know which of the two you are, and it'll make my job this week a lot easier."
"Never let it be said that Angelica James was never mistaken for a man, never compared to a man, never told that she was out-of-place in this 'man's world', or never mocked alongside a simple household product as a toaster or a vacuum."
"Don't start now, Ric. Please. For my sake, and my sake alone...I don't know if I could handle it."
"I'm not talking about the 'Good Mother' syndrome here. We're not kicking it Tokugawa style. I'm subservient to no man, and don't let Danny try to convince you otherwise. Guys trumpets like they knows a thing or two about what goes on behind closed doors, but the real fact of the matter is the last time he and Merc got a little wild and crazy, he was pushing his broken-down car into a 7-11 while she rode shotgun."
"Take that for what you will, but leave my tongue out of it."
Wink.
"I can't mend your broken heart, Ric. All I'm good for is breaking 'em. If all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again, how do you think you'll fare? Mother Goose was an emo kid at heart, but even she couldn't predict what's in store for you."
"The Rising Son's ascension cut short before the quarter-way point of the year."
"It's not enough that I have to make you look good out there, Ric, I have to replace you completely. That means Madame James must inspire and save thousands from witless camera spots, like the ones you'll subject the world to."
"But let's talk brass tax here. Your whole effort just now...fell short. Like Rumsfield promising Shock and Awe two years ago and like Iraq folding too quickly, I imagine you, too, will be dumb enough to get back up."
"No matter."
"I didn't get a chance to tiptoe through the tulips with the Enforcer since he tucked tail and ran away, and you're probably gonna do the same. And here you thought I knew so little about you. But thinking you're going to get to the top before me...well, now that's just plain silly."
"I'm here, now, offering no excuses for my misplaced punctuality but instead looking to single-handedly see to it that your sun remains set beyond the horizon."
"But who knows, Ric. Maybe if you fail at this, you can bake all of us some cookies after you cry over the spilt milk."
"I'll even get a back-alley pussycat to lap it up for you."
Fade...
Fade-in: Angelica James, arms folded in front of her, in front of a blue-painted wall. She lifts her right hand, taps her temple twice, then extends her index finger toward the camera.
"But you are a clever boy."
"A clever boy indeed. You say you know of me, then forget who I am."
She shakes her head.
"Shameful."
"Some people, while intelligent, lack simple common sense and can't put two and two together. Others are just naturally stupid. You let me know which of the two you are, and it'll make my job this week a lot easier."
"Never let it be said that Angelica James was never mistaken for a man, never compared to a man, never told that she was out-of-place in this 'man's world', or never mocked alongside a simple household product as a toaster or a vacuum."
"Don't start now, Ric. Please. For my sake, and my sake alone...I don't know if I could handle it."
"I'm not talking about the 'Good Mother' syndrome here. We're not kicking it Tokugawa style. I'm subservient to no man, and don't let Danny try to convince you otherwise. Guys trumpets like they knows a thing or two about what goes on behind closed doors, but the real fact of the matter is the last time he and Merc got a little wild and crazy, he was pushing his broken-down car into a 7-11 while she rode shotgun."
"Take that for what you will, but leave my tongue out of it."
Wink.
"I can't mend your broken heart, Ric. All I'm good for is breaking 'em. If all the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again, how do you think you'll fare? Mother Goose was an emo kid at heart, but even she couldn't predict what's in store for you."
"The Rising Son's ascension cut short before the quarter-way point of the year."
"It's not enough that I have to make you look good out there, Ric, I have to replace you completely. That means Madame James must inspire and save thousands from witless camera spots, like the ones you'll subject the world to."
"But let's talk brass tax here. Your whole effort just now...fell short. Like Rumsfield promising Shock and Awe two years ago and like Iraq folding too quickly, I imagine you, too, will be dumb enough to get back up."
"No matter."
"I didn't get a chance to tiptoe through the tulips with the Enforcer since he tucked tail and ran away, and you're probably gonna do the same. And here you thought I knew so little about you. But thinking you're going to get to the top before me...well, now that's just plain silly."
"I'm here, now, offering no excuses for my misplaced punctuality but instead looking to single-handedly see to it that your sun remains set beyond the horizon."
"But who knows, Ric. Maybe if you fail at this, you can bake all of us some cookies after you cry over the spilt milk."
"I'll even get a back-alley pussycat to lap it up for you."
Fade...